Sunday, December 5, 2010

Emotional Needs Part 2


Everyone has emotional needs, and according to Willard Harley, one sure way to take excellent care of your significant other is to learn their emotional needs and become an expert at them. You also need to discover your emotional needs and communicate them to your love so they can become an expert at meeting your needs as well. The result, at least in my marriage, has been fantastic: a truly fulfilling relationship.

Harley does a wonderful job explaining the basics of the top 10 most common emotional needs in his book, "I Promise You" and I will do my best to summarize them adequately. (To be honest, I wish I could quote directly for you, but I'll do my best not to violate copyright laws here.) Harley suggests this parameter for finding your emotional needs--if you "crave" something, then it should be included on your list. Also, if something "frustrates" you when you don't get it, that is a good indicator it is important to you.

Affection: "The need for affection is a craving for the expression of care in words, hugs, kisses, cards, gifts, and courtesies."
Affection conveys value: "security, protection, comfort, and approval." It uses actions and words to express the idea that the individual is cared for, both to their needs and wants, as well as showing that their problems are important. It displays commitment. Though a hug, a card or flowers, etc., any of those key aspects of a loving relationship can be communicated. From what I've observed, affection can be communicated before marriage in many God-honoring ways, and I think the list makes it pretty obvious of specifics. If this is one of your top emotional needs, it can also be helpful to make a list of specific things you personally find affectionate. For example: greet me with a hug, hold my hand when we are walking to places, get the door for me, help me clean up after a meal, etc.

Sexual Fulfillment: "The need for sexual fulfillment is a craving for sexual experiences."

Some can limit this as fairly obvious to describe, however, Harley made an excellent distinction: "Sex and affection are often confused, especially by men. This distinction should help you: affection is an act of love that is nonsexual and can be given to and received from friends, relatives, children, and even pets with absolutely no sexual connotation. However, if the act of love is done with a sexual motive, or has sexual overtones, it's sex, not affection." Harley goes on to explain some specific examples that could clue you into this needs, and how it actually can "dilute your Love Bank deposits" if you get fulfillment from other areas. God has marked this need as very important, and the act of sex (and acts with sexual overtones) as very powerful and intimate. Because of how valuable, powerful and intimate it is, before marriage, this need must be handled very carefully. It is very valid and important, as important as any other emotional need. It has also been made clear in scripture that sexual acts are reserved for those protected and bound by the covenant of marriage. In your relationship, it is highly likely at least one of you will have this has your #1 or #2 emotional need. I urge you to seek God and those in spiritual authority over you for ways to value this need without violating God's principles. (If you have gone too far [and nearly everyone does in some way], seek His forgiveness and find accountability so you can stay strong from now on!)

Those two needs are commonly in the top five for women and men respectively. It is certainly true that affection is super important for me--when I read that description I gasped and got very excited. I also felt very relieved, because under the five love languages, I would have needed basically all 5, but they all fit under the one need of affection. I would say it was in that moment I was won over to this way of thinking! (Definitely a sign this is basically my numba one need, huh? =)) And judging by our culture alone, it seems that sexual fulfillment is quite high for most men.

Next time I hope I can get into a few more than two of the needs!



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Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Emotional Needs


Peter and I read many books during our 13-month engagement. One however, stood out above the rest; in fact it seemed to summarize the rest and add more clarity and details. "I Promise You" by Willard Harley is the engagement version of "His Needs, Her Needs" and it was amazing! In my opinion, it takes "The Five Love Languages" to a level that is much more applicable to actual interaction between a couple. During our Honeymoon, it gave us names for ways to communicate love with each other so much easier than "physical touch" or "quality time." We have been so fulfilled emotionally in our relationship and I credit much if it to this book.


The basic concept is this illustration of how a love relationship works. Every person has a "love bank" and the way the people in their life act either makes deposits into this back (causing happiness/satisfaction/love) or withdrawals (causing unhappiness/dissatisfaction/dislike). A romantic relationship will start out with attraction, (and that can even be so strong it feels like instant love) but what makes the relationship last is the deposits the partner makes into the relationship--which essentially turns it from an attraction to love.

Harley identified 10 main ways that men and women receive the largest deposits. In his experience most people fall into these categories (he does encourage finding others for yourself if these don't fit you): Affection, Sexual Fulfillment, Conversation, Recreational Companionship, Honesty and Openness, Physical Attractiveness, Financial Support, Domestic Support, Family Commitment and Admiration.

Your top 5 or 6 are the most important to maintaining your romantic relationship. If you are only having one or two met a relationship can survive but is usually not very solid. You're goal then, is to learn your partner's top emotional needs and become an expert in them. Notice--you often have to LEARN them, because in nearly every case most of your most important emotional needs don't line up with your partner's needs. That's completely OK and in my opinion God designed it that way. (There seems to be a general trend that maintaining a relationship, with anyone, takes work, but the rewards are so great!)

What I've found is that there is so much wisdom and blessing in thinking about a relationship this way, but the wording of his books is very marriage-worded. This has been a put-off to my friends who are in serious relationships but who aren't in the place where talking about marriage is frequent (I respect their decision to wait on the topic and understand the situations, FYI). So what I'd like to do is take a couple posts to explain the emotional needs and apply them to dating/courting in a God-honoring way.

Until then, what is your first impression of this idea? Have you heard of these before? Have you read either of these books?



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Sunday, November 21, 2010

NaBloPoMo, My Absence, and Encouragement

So here's what's been up:

I failed at NaBloPoMo. Day 2. I'm not proud of it, but my consolations are 1) I completed it last year and 2) I'm married and have a full life right now. Sorry to let you down, but that's the deal.

My sister started blogging. She's amazing. And honestly, I feel quite outdone by her. I also discovered a few other really good bloggers who I happen to know personally in the last few months. To put it bluntly, I've been having a case of...not-wanting-to-write-because-others-are-better-than-me syndrome. It isn't really blog envy...just a bit of a shaken confidence maybe? For very bad reasons I know. These people do with their blog what I've really wanted my blog to be. And they do it quite well, seemingly effortlessly. Since writing that way isn't easy for me, and since I have practically NO time, I just gave up these past few weeks.

However, two awesome things happened on the same day that really encouraged me. In my inbox I got an email I never expected to get--an offer from a company to either host a give-a-way on my blog or for me to review one of their products. That was super encouraging--especially when it came when my blog hadn't been updated in over a week. I've thought a lot about it, and I haven't replied yet (oh...bad job on my part...I really value prompt email responses...whoops.) but I'm leaning towards not doing it at this point in time. I'm too small to risk the "she sold out" label. Plus it seems a bit lame anyways.

The second thing was a very encouraging comment from Stove on a post that I felt was a bit embarrassingly boring, commonplace, and uncreative. (I was comparing it to afore mentioned awesome bloggers. Comparing isn't biblical, FYI, and doesn't make you feel good at all.) Thanks for the comment. That meant a lot.

So, here I am, back again and hoping to "feed the internets" (-my sister) with what I have to offer--a humble meal that isn't all good for you and isn't all bad. Like fried chicken with...veggies.





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Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Recap

This morning, I had trouble getting up when the alarm went off. In fact, I think I hit snooze about 3 or 4 times... After dragging myself begrudgingly out of bed, I plopped down into my chair to read the Bible and pray. This usually takes about 30 or so minutes...and I had hoped to get to work in about 25 minutes from that time. (insert sigh here) Peter helped cut my prep time down by making me eggs for breakfast (best husband EVER), and we left to drop me off at work. Thankfully I have the freedom of a flex-time work schedule, so it doesn't hurt anyone but my schedule if I get there a little later than I intended.

I had two meetings this morning which went very well, and filled up a whole sheet of paper with things I need to do. Never an empty moment here! Over lunch Peter and I went to vote. It was pretty depressing that halfway through the day I was the only 195th in my precinct to vote. Hopefully that went up considerably after about 5 PM. I went back to work until about 3, when Peter picked me up and we home in this delightfully sunny (yet too chilly for my comfort) weather. We tried to squeeze in an episode of The Office before Peter had to be back at the church at 4 for teaching WorshipArts, but our internet and netflix decided they didn't want to cooperate and we only got 10 minutes into an episode. Back to church we went, and he set up for WorshipArts, I helped him sound check and even sang with the group for a while, and then off I went to whip up some chicken and cheese quesadillas at home. 

I prettied up a little bit and then back to church (so great that our apartment is less than 2 miles away!) I went to drop off Pete's dinner on my way out to the KAT drama performance. Lewis, my nine-year-old brother, was the lead in his skit and he did phenomenal! I can't wait to see him step out in the full-length productions in the coming years! My brothers-in-law, both 7 years old, I believe, were also in a skit and were quite adorable. Then the oldest drama group performed "The Fish Story" which Peter and I acted in in high school! I had no idea they were doing that show, so it was great to relive our memories and try to remember which of my friends played which roles. 

Now I'm back at the church and writing my second, non-fiction, probably not that inspiring post for NaBloPoMo. A packed day can often lead to a worn out mind.




Hopefully a more intellectual, better crafted edition of Tori's Thoughts coming tomorrow! Thanks for reading!



                                                             
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Monday, November 1, 2010

NaBloPoMo



Ah, NaBloPoMo. You have reared your ugly yet captivating head again. Reminds me of a quote from Meet the Deedles..."You know how when you're driving and you see something flat in the road ahead, and you know you shouldn't look, but you just can't help it?" (In essence, he just called the girl he liked roadkill. When I was 9, I thought that scene was hilarious. Might not be so funny if this is your first exposer.)

Just like roadkill, NaBloPoMo, here you are--that thing I really shouldn't look at, should stare at, probably shouldn't investigate, but I'm going to anyway.

To the few of you who don't know what this is, NaBloPoMo stands for National Blog Posting Month. The goal is to post every day for a month solid. I amazingly pulled this off last year, and I was pretty proud. So despite my lack of time, my desire to beat this challenge (and to write more often) is stronger.

I'm not going to promise wonderfully thought-out, intellectual, challenging, humorous perfection, but I am going to aim to write something about my life, my faith, my thoughts or my day for the next 3o days. A month is always interesting to look back on, and you will certainly know more about me and what I do at the end of these two fortnights, which is a great goal in itself. And who knows, in the end the result may be I become a better writer as well!



                                                             

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Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Games

Peter and I love playing games! Board games, card games, party games, strategy games and even Internet games are all up our alley. It's been great to spend so much quality time together over games and having friends over to play games is great fun! We actually keep a scoreboard on the white board in our kitchen of wins for us and anyone who plays with us. It's been a lot of fun! I thought it'd be fun to take a look at some of our favorites, in no particular order: 

Dutch Blitz
We love this fast paced card game! It's pretty simple and completely addicting. You stack up by color and number in the center, have three columns you can build down in like solitaire, and a stack you have to empty (by placing in the middle or your three columns) to win! Normally with just two players it can be very slow, but Peter and each take two colors (so enough cards for four players) and it works really well.  

Bananagrams
Bananagrams is what happens when you combine a word scramble and scrabble. You start with a handful of letters and the first to use every letter to make connecting words says "peel" and everyone takes another letter tile until they are all gone. The person to use every letter in their pile first wins! You can rearrange every word if you want in order to get them all to fit. It's fun to see what spills out of peoples minds--and the random words people get excited about being able to spell. One of my favorites was when "gorilla" and "zoo" crossed. =)
Settlers of Catan

Settlers is a strategy game where you collect resources to expand your colonies and many actions give you victory points. I didn't like this game when I was younger, but Peter has always liked it and so I gave it a try again after we got married. Turns out I love playing it--especially 2 player! It was interesting to discover, however, that my winning two-player strategy did not work with more than 2 players...

Dicecapades! and Catch Phrase are some other favorites, and we are hoping to purchase a very fun and interesting strategy card game, Dominion, soon!

What games do you enjoy?


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Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Vision

What are you most passionate about? If you could do anything, what would you do? What is the focus of your life?

These are questions that mull around in the back of my mind. Why did God make me? What does He want me to accomplish? What is the vision for my life? Right now, I feel like I can't quite see exactly where God wants my life to be going. Every time I've prayed about it, or asked others to pray for me about this, the result has been big--and vague. "God has huge plans for your life!" "God is going to take what you see your life being and make it so much bigger than you can imagine!" "You are a leader and you are going to influence people!" "Don't settle on second rate or too small!"

All these wonderful, encouraging things that can be found true by searching scripture or looking at my actions, but not clear direction. So then I think about what I really love doing.
  • I love being with friends, and my favorite situations are one on one, talking about life, problems, and solutions to those problems. I love sharing and receiving wisdom so much, and anything about God is a favorite topic of mine. 
  • I also like taking this to a larger setting--like sharing at a youth group or my college group about what God is teaching me. 
  • Then the other top thing I love doing is making things--creative crafts. I really love working with items, like 3D artwork--ie. three things I've done lately: making combinations of buttons into magnets, painting pottery, or decorating a masquerade mask. 
  • I also enjoy creating logos and graphic art--I've designed a bunch of brochures and sermon series at work.
  • Writing has always been a passion of mine and I have been told I'm not that bad at it, so it definitely makes the list.
  • Another interest is theatre, mainly from the directing/technical standpoint, but acting too.
But I don't know where God wants me to focus... and who knows, there may be something completely different that God wants me to do that I'll be even more passionate about then this stuff!  

Though at times I feel frustrated and clueless about the direction of my life, wise people around me have offered some great input. First off, my friends have reminded me that I have only been married just over 3 months. My marriage is so important and being the best wife I can be IS significant. My job takes up the majority of my time, and it truly is rewarding to serve my church with my gifts. I really am blessed that my work is so meaningful and that it has a great work environment! 

Finally, God has been putting this call on my heart to pray for well over a year. This summer I started praying first thing every morning, and it has been so rewarding! I am hoping to do more intercessory prayer (prayer for others, rather than just the things in my life) as well. When I ask God what He wants me to do, "pray" is generally the answer, so I am slowly making that a bigger part of my life. I'll admit, sometimes this has been discouraging to hear because I'm so hungry for a detailed strategy for my life. Prayer can sometimes seem "boring" or "small." But God has been answering my prayers is very visible ways--and I am learning more and more about it's value, and how huge it really is.

So for now, my "vision" is to be the best wife, church administrator, and pray-er I can be!




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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

50 Days


I'm a bit shocked.

It's been 50 days since my last post. My apologies!

Here's what's up with my life!

Marriage...
...is going excellently! Peter and I are clearly God-matched and it is beautiful. We try to honor each other always and it pays off. Even when we get tired or cranky, we are keeping our eyes on putting each other first, and when we stumble in that, God has given us grace for each other. These past three and a half months have been awesome!

Work...
...is great! I love my job. For those of you who don't know, I was promoted to Administrator at my church when I came back to work after getting married. Every day I have to do something different, and because of the size of our church I get to wear a lot of different hats--Secretary, Editor, Webmaster, Social Networker, Graphic Designer, Marketer, Event Planning, Accountant, Snack Bar Stocker, Gopher, Techie, Video Film & Editing, etc. etc.! Definitely keeps me on my toes!

WorshipArts...
...is also going really well! Peter leads this program for middle school and high school students, where he teaches  "worship and ministry education." If you haven't been already, you should totally check out the website, www.worshipartscentral.com. We have 16 students, divided into 3 bands, and it keeps Peter very busy! On top of the group lessons, Peter also teaches about 7 students private lessons. We were praising God this week because we realized his 20+ hours of actual teaching time a week is earning him the equivalent of working full-time at a minimum wage job! Meaning he won't have to get another job!! This is a huge answer to prayer!

After those three categories, I don't have too much other time. I've been trying to see friends occasionally, and I'm slowly learning how to take care of a home. My current personal struggle has been finding out how to do everything from a mindset of peace instead of striving. I'm trying to figure out the balance between living life to the fullest by spending my time with people I love and on things I'm passionate about, and taking care of responsibilities. I'm learning it isn't right to put dishes and laundry above quality time with loved ones...but I know those things still need to get done... It's quite the balance to try and find!




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Monday, August 23, 2010

Memory Book

On our honeymoon in South Haven, we stumbled upon this collection of books in MacDonald's Drug Store along the main street:


These are from the Write It Down! Journals series, and they are pretty amazing for keeping track of whatever you might want! I found out that there are 63 titles (thanks to Desperately Seeking Deals, also previous picture source), with topics ranging from vacations, pets, dieting, and devotions, to name a few!

The journal that Peter got me is called "Memories: Our Family Journal."
I really like the format: On one side of the page is a spot for who is writing the entry and the date, and then the rest of that side of the page is divided between these 6 prompts: "News/Weather/Happenings & Events:", "Today I/We:", "Good things that happened to me/us today:", "I/we are looking forward to (Plans):", "My/Our concerns are:", and "Special thoughts, favorite moments, ideas:". At first I was using them a lot, and now I just write and use them as a suggestion. The back of the page has just this prompt, "Family Notes:" so it is just a page for writing whatever you want. 

The amazing thing is that Peter and I have worked together (him reminding me and giving me the awesome incentive of new pens for being consistent with it) and I have written at least a sentence every time I've written in what we call our "Memory Book"! To my credit, I only wrote less than a paragraph when I had gotten behind and was catching up on 3 or more days in one setting. I write about what we do, where we went, who we saw, and sometimes the weather and what we eat--mostly just "details" of the day, rather than my moods, thoughts, or opinions (those mostly end up here as blog posts I suppose!). I am proud to say that as of yesterday I have written for every day since our wedding! 

I'm hoping that eventually I can turn some of our more eventful days into blog posts so you can get more of a glimpse into my life, especially now that I will be able to flip through the pages and easily remember our adventures!

Do you keep a journal? If so, what kind of journal is it?



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Friday, August 20, 2010

ACTS Prayer

Wow! I can't believe how much time has passed since I last updated. There isn't the nice satisfaction of posting a blog post to the internet when you write a post in word first, so the incentives to write have been a little less apparently! (Not to mention I'm pretty busy!)

As I promised in the last post, I am going to cover the ACTS pattern for prayer, that I was first introduced to in the book "Too Busy Not To Pray." I have been writing out all my prayers that I use with this pattern and it has been helpful for staying focused and it is cool to look back on what I'm talking to God about!


To begin your time in prayer, you start with Adoration.  This is when you praise God for who He is and the great things He does. A suggestion for inspiration on this topic is reading some of the many praise chapters in Psalms. Personally I've noticed that meditating and declaring how holy God is really helps me focus in on His glory and truly adore Him. Often I find my self writing or saying "You are Holy, Holy, Holy!" over and over again, and I often get that feeling of being in the presence of something truly awe-inspiring when I focus this way, which is amazing.

Next is Confession. In the book Hybels emphasis how powerful it is to be specific with your confessions and how it can help you truly change faster. (As Hybels says, it gets old real fast to repent of the same sin a few days or weeks in a row and that can help you be aware and work on changing!) For example, rather than saying, "I am sorry for not treating my husband well yesterday," you should name the fault--"I'm sorry for speaking sharply to my husband and putting my comfort before his needs." It has really helped me be more honest with myself and with God and to be more aware of my actions.

After confession, comes Thanksgiving. I love thanking God, so this one often slips into my prayers in the other categories too. =) It is so powerful and helps me acknowledge my blessings when I thank God for all the great things he is doing in my life! Hybels took all of his areas of life and found that they could fit into four areas in which he could give thanks: answered prayers, spiritual blessing, relational blessing, and material blessing. A cool testimony here is that within the first few days of following this pattern, I had prayed for Peter to get more private lessons students. Since then, he has had 2 more people out of the blue sign up for private lessons, and 4 more have said they are seriously considering starting lessons (and one family said they would refer Peter to another family with 4 kids)! It is so exciting to see God answer prayer!

The last item in this pattern is Supplication. This is when you ask God for whatever is on your heart. Hybels again divided his requests into categories that covered his life. First he prays for his ministry (I call this one ministry/work, so that it covers our jobs as well as our churches and the things we believe God has called us to). Then he prays for people--his friends, important or influential people, or anyone else God has placed on his heart. Next is family, which is pretty self explanatory--your immediate and extend family and their needs, be it provision, salvation, or whatever God leads.

Finally, he prays for his own personal needs. At this point you have adored God and confessed, thanked Him and prayed for others in your life. This approach often changes your perspective and attitude regarding personal requests. I have found it to be excellent and that I pray for more important things in my own life after I have this broader perspective through thinking about how great God is and the needs of others around me first.

I have found that a lot of freedom works better for me when I follow this pattern. At first I would try to write a paragraph for each topic and subtopic, which was really great, but took a lot longer than the 20 minutes I'm trying to do every morning before work. So when I have more time, I do a longer prayer, but if I'm short on minutes I simply make sure I hit each point with at least a sentence. I also don't worry as much now about making sure all my "thanks," for example, stay in the thanksgiving spot. I'm treating it more like  guidelines rather than a strict form, and it has worked excellently for giving more structure to my prayer time!

Do you have a pattern you follow when you pray? What does your prayer time look like?





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Monday, August 2, 2010

“Too Busy Not To Pray”

Peter and I went to the lovely UP earlier this week to Cedar Campus, a retreat center run by InterVarsity. While we were there we discovered that their book selection is excellent, and we both bought a new book as our “souvenir,” even though they really are more like investments into our lives, rather than a piece to spur nostalgia.

I choose “Too Busy Not To Pray” by Bill Hybels. Whenever I have thought about advancement in my spiritual life for the past year or more, I have been drawn to focused prayer time and the fact I need more of it in my life. Though I have taken small steps in the past to pursue this, I really haven't done much since I graduated and got married—for the understandable (but not excusable) reason that wedding preparation tends to swallow your entire schedule! In the past month, of course, life truly hasn't slowed down at all. I have felt too busy to pray as much as I feel like I should, so this book seemed like a good place to start.

Let me tell you, it has been a fantastic place to start! This book in one word: solid. Currently I am almost halfway through it, and I have learned so much about prayer and been so encouraged to push into it more!

The first three chapters are all about God—how He is the God of peace and power, how He is willing to answer our prayers, and how He is able to answer our prayers. They really set the stage for entering into prayer with the right foundational ideas in place, and I was so encouraged by his testimonies and the scriptural truths Hybels shared.

The next three chapters, which is where I am, are about the actual act of prayer—the importance of building good prayer habits, “Praying like Jesus” (an outline of the Lord's Prayer), and finally, “A Pattern for Prayer” which has been the most impacting so far personally. I have been learning practical ways to pray and to stay focused. One of the biggest things that struck me is the fact that if we want to get good at something we must make it nonnegotiable, and we must exercise good habits to obtain it. For example, take exercising or eating well—if we slack off at any point and/or don't have a solid structure for obtaining our goals, they don't happen. If we can't get fit without a structured schedule, its isn't likely we can pray powerfully and consistently without structure in our prayer life.

A specific pattern for structure in prayer that Hybels shares about is called ACTS. Because it was so helpful and impacting, I'm going to share in more detail about it in an upcoming post. For now though, have you read anything recently that encouraged you in your prayer life?




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Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I'm Back!

Hello, internet world!

I have been long absent—thrust into the world of wedding preparations and swept away in the bliss of marriage! But ladies and gentlemen, I'm back, and I hope to inform you on my adventures this past month and hopefully develop a habit of writing here frequently.

But first, a little summary of my doings since mid June.

Wedding preparations were hectic, crazy, and wonderful. My ladies in waiting (Team Devoted Bridesmaids!) were completely fabulous. I doubt there has ever been another group of girls so fantastic at assisting their bride and pulling off a wedding that had over 400 people in attendance. There was no drama worth speaking of, and they all worked so excellently together! Each of them is soaked in the Holy Spirit and Christ shines through in everything they do, so how could anything but a smooth wedding ensue? Thank you so much Lindsay, Emily, Caitlin, Abby and Hannah—I couldn't have done it without you!

The decorations were all assembled by those willing ladies hands (bubbles and candles with ribbon, vases with sugar [cheaper than white sand!], ribbon and bells with daisies, tulle with lights, etc.), the flowers were put together by more volunteers, the food was prepared and enhanced by the amazing Cyr/Tafil clan (my best friend's family, truly my second family!) and other extra hands from my church family, the awesome music was chosen by another dear childhood friend, pictures were taken (AMAZINGLY) by two other fabulous people—truly, all of the details came together spectacularly!

And through it all Peter and my anticipation grew as we grew closer together! God was moving deeply in our hearts and every day our love has grown stronger. Our wedding was perfect, and I loved every moment of becoming Mrs. Webb! I cannot wait to write about the wonderful things God has done in my heart through the experience of preparing for the wedding and learning what it means to be a married woman.


(More pictures to come!!)

We are currently moved into our new apartment, and we are mostly settled in, except for sorting our office, which is in the cluttered state that happens to one room or another in the aftereffects of a move.

One unfortunate fact, for the sake of my blog, is that we do not have internet at our apartment. This means I probably won't be very good at staying too up-to-date on all of your wonderful lives for a while, at least until I can schedule time at a coffee place where I will read blogs. On the other hand, Peter and I have taken up hobbies that we wouldn't have done with the convenient hobby of web-surfing constantly at our fingertips. Also, we spend more time directly focusing on each other and taking care of our things, which has been so good! So I am going to try writing my posts ahead of time and uploading them when I have internet. I hope it goes well, because I have missed writing!

Until next time, dear readers,





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Saturday, June 5, 2010

Wedding - 21 Days


Friends, the wedding is in 21 short days.

I AM SO EXCITED!!

Things have been bustling around here getting ready for the big day. Here's some updates:


  • 360 People have RSVPed to our wedding! It's gonna be a huge party. Holy cow.
  • Thankfully Gordons Food Service is saving the day with the cost of food per person being seriously affordable. However, we are no longer having ice cream.
  • Instead of ice cream, we are going to try and get a dance floor! Pretty excited about that! 
  • Some lovely ladies from College & Career have stepped up to handle the food prep. Yay!
  • Ribbon is expensive. Definitely had no idea that would be the majority of the decorating expense. 
  • The centerpieces have been decided and look lovely! The bridesmaids are all (miracle there, usually one or two have conflicts when we do stuff lol) coming over at 11 today and we are assembling more decor!
  • We had our first pre-marriage counseling meeting on Wednesday. It is in a cool setting--three couples who are engaged meet together with two married couples. We are allowed to ask questions throughout and its more of a discussion then a lecture, which is wonderful.
  • Trying to finish two books before the wedding--The Act of Marriage and I Promise You. Hopefully it'll happen!
  • Working on thank you notes--I have probably about 30+ more to send, thanks to the 20+ ladies who came to my Webb Family shower, the 40 who came to my HPA shower, and the 40+ who came to my church shower! I have been truly showered with love--thank you everyone!
  • I have also learned that when you use a budget, it really helps to update it constantly. And I didn't do that. Which increased our budget about $1200. Whoops... 
  • I was pretty emotional this week, but Peter's been on my case about getting enough sleep (which for me is an obnoxiously long 8-9 hours...) and since I've been doing it I've felt so much better! Yay for an awesome fiancĂ©! 
In a nutshell, life in pretty crazy right now, but I'm trying to love every minute. =)




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Thursday, June 3, 2010

There's A Party Here In Michigan

For my wedding announcement at church, we said "Tori and Peter are finally getting married!" Every time I hear that I think of the song from Aladdin, and then as I listened to it today, I thought it was fun to substitute "Michigan" for "Agrabah" and "Tori and Peter" for Jasmine and Aladdin." Some of my more creative friends could rewrite other verses to make it more applicable, but I don't have time for that. Enjoy!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CN4m0hDQF2o&feature=player_embedded











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Blog Journal

Unfortunately It is just not going to be possible for me to continue the Theme-A-Day blog journal. I may pick it up again later but honestly with the wedding I just can't prioritize the blog like I was hoping. Thank you to everyone who was reading them and I hope you can keep reading as I start to update more (hopefully) about the wedding!


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Friday, May 28, 2010

New Layout!

As you may have noticed, I've changed my blog layout! I think it is still in the fun vein (colored daises) that my last layout was in, but it is so much more clean and classy feeling.

And really, isn't this a beautiful picture?

What do you think?





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Day 17: What Irks Me


Day 17: What are your pet peeves?


Two come immediately to mind--when people are hard to get a hold of, and when people aren't honest.


Unfortunately, I'm somewhat guilty of the first one...especially since about mid-April. I think with school ending and then my whole life changing and work increasing and the wedding fast approaching, I just stopped being as good at answering calls and texts.


As to honesty, it is one of my Core Values, and very important to me--I cannot stand dishonesty. I've written about what I think of honesty here, actually.


Thanks for reading! I really appreciate the comments and followings--they really encourage me! Thanks!





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Thursday, May 27, 2010

Taking Care Of Business, Remember 5/27/01

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have successfully gotten things done this week! 
  • The food is nearly figured out--after talking with caterers and such, Gordon Food Service is saving the day and shall be selling us food at the lovely price of about $2.11 per guest! Fabulous. 
  • The Tuxedos have been reserved, and our men need to go get fitted asap. 
  • The decorations for the ceremony are going to begin to be assembled tomorrow. 
  • I have about half of the Thank You notes from the last two showers written. 
  • Peter is working on getting lights for the decorations.
  • We are making a plan for tackling flowers.


And as of yesterday, it is one month till the wedding!

I wanted to take a moment and highlight today--May 27th. Nine years ago today, I met Peter Webb. He was 10, and I was 11, and we were at church. It was after the service and us kids were waiting for our parents to pick us up from Children's ministry. While we waited they had games set up, and I was kicking butt in Connect Four. Peter played me, and I beat him, then I had to go. I don't really remember it well, but Peter does, and he says at that moment he fell head over heels for me. <3 

And now, in just 30 days, I will marry this marvelous man who has pursued me for nine years. <3






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Day 16: Bad, Tori


Day 16: What is my worst habit?


I guess the biggest thing is I habitually worry and fear. My first response to situations is rarely peace, trust or joy--but worry and fear. I feel like I'm just in the "acknowledging stage" of changing this, and still learning where the root of this is. I'm also really bad at being consistenly organized and not getting distracted. (I suppose these are more faults than habits...but I think it still answers the question!)





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Day 15: Before I Kick that Pail...


Day 15: What is your bucket list top 5?

To be honest, I don't really know what my top 5 are, so I'm going to list 5 things that are important that I want to do:

1. Lead someone to Christ.
2. Get married to the love of my life, Peter Webb.
3. Travel to more than 2 other countries with Peter.
4. Use a calendar successfully for more than a month or two. (AKA feel & be organized)
5. Be excellent at blogging and marketing my blog. (And that it would be evident because of followers and commenters =) )




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Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Day 14: My Blog Spot


Day 14: Take a picture of where you blog at!

Because I have a laptop, I blog just about anywhere! But usually this is where I blog from--comfy on my bed!
(Sorry for the low quality--cell phone picture due to lending my camera out!)




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