"How could I earn God's forgiveness, I feel sooooo terrible right now for all my sins and I feel ashamed and gross and feel like I disappointed the Lord. I know i should pray for forgiveness but i feel that it's not enough or that something is missing, I feel terrible please help me."
Oh my friend! I wish I could give you a big hug, look into your eyes, and help assure you that God has already forgiven you!
Jesus knew exactly what sins you were going to commit before you committed them. He is motivated by love—so much so He DIED for you before you even accepted Him (Romans 5:8). Does sin break God’s heart? Yes. Does He love you anyways? Yes!
God is the perfect father. Think about it—if you had a kid, you’d love them with everything you had. And when they disobeyed you, would you love them any less? No! Yes, it might be frustrating or hurtful, but that doesn’t change the fact that you love them. God is like that but even better—He never lashes out at you or loses that perspective of Love. He is set, focused and determined—He died so you could be FREE from condemnation and walk in grace, peace and complete forgiveness.