Monday, November 12, 2012

Writers Write

In order to be a writer, you have to write. 

I struggle with that. 

Maybe it's my old perfectionism lingering on in this area--a symptom of a lifestyle that use to be much worse in my life? Could it be that a large portion of my job is writing--emails, websites, brochures--I write a lot as an administrator, and it does use up my composing juices, that's sure and certain.

It could definitely be how full my life is--but there isn't a soul who tells me that life gets any less full as you get older. My goodness, I don't even have a child yet. Why do I reason with myself that I'll write more in the future, as if I'm going to suddenly have more time then?

It's funny. When I'm not able to write, I come up with a plethora of topics. And yet when I have the time to sit down, no topic seems suitable for this blog, interesting enough, or worth taking the time to write down.

And then I look up and realize two years of my marriage has passed and I've barely recorded any of it here. I realize WorshipArts is taking off and there are so many testimonies I wish I had captured here. I see our immediate families growing and changing and yet I haven't captured what it feels like here.

It's hard to write about WorshipArts, because I want this to be my personal blog, and yet so often when I start to write about WorshipArts I feel like I go into a "work/promotion" voice unintentionally, and that people are going to tune it out. I don't want to just self-promote here. No one wants to read that long term.

I also struggle with writing about my job. I really want to let people know what it's like to work at a church, how blessed it is, and all the projects that I'm excited about. But I don't want to say anything that would be misunderstood, to accidentally give away information too soon, or to some how misrepresent my church. Plus I write about church stuff all day at work.

And then there is my relationship with Peter. It's pretty stinkin' amazing. But I guess I don't write about it too much because I want to keep a certain level of it private and personal... and many of you get more than enough of our sentimental romance through our sappy Facebook posts!

When I was younger, I wrote so, so much. I ranted, vented, worried, rejoiced, and expressed just about every emotion through writing--and much of it was public on blogs online. Then my relationship with Peter blossomed, and he helped me work through so much in conversation that I didn't feel as much of a need to process life in writing. I've done very little private journaling, for example, since we've been seriously dating and married.

Yet I know writing is good and it's something I want to do. I know God has gifted me with it for a reason--many reasons probably.

And yet I don't do it consistently. Ugh.

Maybe just getting this on the table will help.


Jerry said...

Thanks for your honesty...You filled a blog post full of things you hesitate to write about. Brilliant in my view. More thing s will come in time. You are a gifted writer...Peter is pretty good too.

Kiersten said...

This is kind of me right now…I’ve really only been blogging or journaling when I’ve been really upset or excited about something and feel like I don’t have anyone to share it with, even though there are fun and exciting things happening in my life, too. It’s frustrating, for sure.
You can do it! I miss getting updates from your blog. :)

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