In a way, this is how my history with God has looked: He jumped in front of a car for me, and endured some crazy damage. He had to spend a whole weekend in the hospital, He flatlined... but it was crazy, after a weekend, He was up and talking, and the one thing He kept saying was He wanted to be a part of my life. Well, He saved it, so who am I to argue? Certainly a decent thing to do when you your life has been spared, right?
But as time goes on, we go through seasons. The same topics keep coming up, and it's getting a little old. Love, grace, forgiveness, justice... Sometimes it's hard to talk to a perfect person, even if He is a great empathizer. Life gets busy. Maybe we don't meet as often as I meant to, so I try just calling, instead of our usual breakfast together. I'm still staying in touch, right? It's been so long since that wreck...I'm used to looking at Him, I don't even notice His scars any more. Calling is fine! Friends give grace for that, right? He keeps saying He's all about that.
Man, now it's been an even crazier week. I just have all this stuff, some good and some bad, going on. You're a great friend, but I really can't make that call today--I'm so sorry! I'll try to text to let you know what's up today.
And then a week goes by and I haven't even texted you back. Yikes... I'll have to get better at that ...after I finish finals. Or that project our family is doing. Or get through this crazy week at work.
Now we just touch base a few times a month, checking out each other's Facebook walls and liking a few great status updates, with a text now and then. I'm keeping my eye out for where He's at, He's keeping a watch on me. If there's a crisis I know I can call Him. Honestly, this is a really good friendship--we're just in a season where it's harder.
After those projects are done, we have a solid week where we spend face-to-face time together! And then we stay really in touch for a few months! But those same topics keep coming up, and He keeps obsessing about how He love me. "Yeah, I know you do. You died for me. But can we talk about something else?" I keep thinking. I just don't feel like this friendship is going anywhere. So I miss breakfast again...that snooze button was the death of me...sorry! I'll do better tomorrow...
And so it cycles.
I am a friend of God. And I have truly, honestly, excellent earthly friendships that look almost exactly like this cycle. But I think there is an underlying, major problem with this type of relationship with God, and it's something I don't want to have any more. It's a cycle I want to break out of, and a cycle I want to see broken in the lives of my Christian friends, acquaintances, and total strangers.
I believe God must be more than just a best friend. And I'm going on a journey to discover what a deeper relationship with Him can be.