Thursday, November 5, 2009

Expectations, Disappointment, and Love (Part One)

I truly want to serve God and live my life well. I want to take hold of this promise Jesus gave--"I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly" (John 10:10b). I am also quite aware of this: “Be sure to do what you should, for then you will enjoy the personal satisfaction of having done your work well, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else” (Gal. 6:4).

Yet so often I feel that I waste my time and make poor time choices. I am one of those people that beats myself up over mistakes to the extent that my natural response is to hide—be it on Facebook, a computer game, a book, or anything other than what I need to get done. Classic procrastination, I know. I hate being disappointed in myself, and I hate that I never meet my own expectations.

Well, one day I was praying about this. I was apologizing and agonizing over my faults (basically beating myself up in a prayer). And God's response blew me away with love and literally reversed some of my ideas.

He said, “I love you without expectation, which means I am never disappointed in you.”

To Be Continued

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