How can people accept Jesus as their savior, but not their ultimate redeemer? I know I have been blessed with a life that has been protected from a lot of the things that happen to bring impurity and shame. So I know this is supposedly easier for me than others--at least to someone who feels like they can't live like I do or value the same things I do because of circumstances that have happened to them. And yet I see those around me desire purity and the blessings that come with it, but the pain they have gets so overwhelming it seems they can't even see the aspect of redeemer that their Lord is.
I see Christ standing, as if he momentarily stepped down from the Cross, holding out His forgiveness, and I see them looking at the pain in their hand and being sucked into what it feels like so much that they can't let it go and take His forgiveness for them, and for them to use towards others. They are too caught up in the terrible yet twisted-justice feeling of pain that they won't take the exchange before them. It breaks my heart. Because so many thing my life has been "better," and because I am the daughter of a Pastor that my view is somehow less legitimate. Their circumstances validate them, but mine disqualify me. "She hasn't been hurt like me. She can't understand." Sure, I might not understand. I can imagine, but I won't know exactly like you. But what I do know is that HE knows. And he's standing there bloody and bruised right off the cross showing you the way out. He took that exact pain and shame they feel and bore it on the cross combined with every other pain and sin and injustice. It breaks His heart that the people in this world don't run into his arms of forgiveness. Sometimes His tears become mine. They are now.
So when I get insistent and I sound bold or too black and white or like I don't understand...it's because my heart is breaking for you. I see you have the option for a better way and it pains me just as much as it does you how much of a process it can be to exchange your pain for His Forgiveness daily. I have to do it too, with my own burdens. They aren't your hurt. They are mine. You can't understand mine and I can't understand yours completely, but He does. Why don't you choose Him?