Saturday, March 21, 2009

Snipits


Some things running through my mind...
"Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness blow the rest away." -Dinah Craik


The Lyrics:

I'm Taking You With Me -Relient K

I made a habit
Of never making promises
That aren't easy to keepAnd there you have it
But now I'll make you one that is
To keep you here with me

But as every second that goes by
I feel it's just a waste of time
If I'm not with you

If home is where the heart is
Then my home is where you are (my home is where you are)But it's getting oh so hard
To spend these days
Without my heart

So I'm taking you with me
Anywhere that I
Could ever wanna be
For the rest of my life
I want you there with me
And if there ever comes a timeWhen I should have to leave
I hope you know that I
I'm taking you with me

And so I'm trying
To hold it all together and
Make it through the day
When I'm just dyin'
To drop it all and take your hand
So we can run awayfrom all the miles and the hours
That seem to endlessly devour

The time that I could be with you

If home is where the heart is
Then my home is where you are (my home is where you are)
It's getting oh so hardTo spend these days
Without my heart

So I'm taking you with me
Anywhere that I
Could ever wanna be
For the rest of my life
I want you there with me
And if there ever comes a timeWhere I should have to leave
I hope you know that I
I'm taking you with me

Every second that goes by
Is one more second of my life
And it couldn't be more clear
That I would die without you here
And every second that goes byIs one more second of my life
And it couldn't be more clear
I'm dying without you here
Yeah every second that goes by (yeah every second that goes by)

So I'm taking you with me
Anywhere that I
Could ever wanna be
For the rest of my lifeI want you there with me
And if there ever comes a time
Where I should have to leave
I hope you know that I
I'm taking you with me



I love you, Peter Webb.



Friday, March 13, 2009

A Paper for English Class

This is a paper I wrote for my English class. I thought I'd share it with the world because it touches on an idea I've been pondering lately. It ties a personal experience to a story from the book we read; in this case, the story was "Legend" by Jorge Luis Borges. This is close to the text of the story, I found it here
"Cain and Abel came upon each other after Abel’s death. They were walking through the desert, and they recognized each other from afar, since both men were very tall. The two brothers sat on the ground, made a fire, and ate. They sat silently, as weary people do when dusk begins to fall. In the sky, a star glittered, though it had not yet been given a name. In the light of the fire, Cain saw that Abel’s forehead bore the mark of the stone, and he dropped the bread he was about to carry to his mouth, and asked his brother to forgive him. 
“Was it you that killed me, or did I kill you ?” Abel answered. “I don’t remember any more; here we are, together, like before.”
“Now I know that you have truly forgiven me,” Cain said, “because forgetting is forgiving. I, too, will try to forget.”
“Yes, said Abel slowly. “So long as remorse lasts, guilt lasts." "
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A “Legend” of Forgiveness in My Life

Forgiveness has been a huge theme in my life, and when I read the “Legend,” it reminded me of many a past circumstance. Practically every relationship problem—be it with family, friends, or a significant other—that I've ever experienced or heard of could improve with a good dose of forgiveness. In this short story, Jorge Luis Borges elaborates on the tale of Cain and Abel, and brings up an interesting point about forgiveness. The two brothers meet in the afterlife, and Abel doesn't remember what happened, saying, “Was it you that killed me, or did I kill you?” (230). Cain believes that he has finally received true forgiveness, “because forgetting is forgiving” (230). Through contemplation, I have discovered a particular relationship in my life where this insight is especially true.

In high school, I was quite open about my convictions and was not at all concerned about the consequences of sharing these with everyone, so I often didn't notice that they didn't want to listen. For the most part, my friends were fine with this; most of them were not quite as bold as I, so my bluntness was tolerated and I was fairly understood. They knew I loved them and that I wasn't looking down on them for believing and acting differently. However, to anyone unfamiliar with my ways, I could sound extremely judgmental. During my sophomore year, one particular guy, Garvey, joined our circle. He was, in fact, just as opinionated and blunt as I, and so the friction began. Garvey and I were as different as a fruit is different from an animal. Just like Cain and Abel, our interests were contrasting, our beliefs conflicting, and our conversation accusing.

The most difficult aspect for me was that he befriended my two best friends very quickly, and, in their wisdom, neither of them took my distrust of Garvey seriously enough to end the friendship. In retrospect, though it is true we didn't agree on much, I was also mildly jealous of Garvey for stealing my friendships, like Cain envied Abel's favor with God.

Things did not progress smoothly—whenever we talked, we would end up arguing, and I felt Garvey was determined to push my buttons in any way he could. I thought I was trying to make the friendship work, but my constant disapproval of his choices poisoned any possibility for a relationship. He made a handful of choices I saw as mistakes, and so I deemed them support for my distrust. Very soon after we realized this was going nowhere good and came to a mutual decision to not pursue any form of friendship beyond casual acquaintances. In essence, we agreed on a mutual disapproval of the other, yet to still be civil to each other when required. As with Cain and Abel, jealousy and judgment aided the means that brought destruction—for them, a life was lost, and for me, a possible friendship was broken before it began.

Years have passed now, and like the characters in “Legend,” we spent quite a while without any communication at all. Now, like Cain and Abel, time has brought us back together again, different people and in completely different circumstances. In the months leading up to our reunion, I had realized I had forgotten much of what caused the drama between Garvey and I; the problems were no longer issues because we had both grown up, moved on, and learned our own forms of tolerance. Though I had forgiven through forgetting as much as I could, I also realized what Abel did: “...because forgetting is forgiving...I, too, will try to forget” and I made a consciously went even further, and dismissed the wrongs I still remembered (230). In order to repair our friendship, I decided to forgive Garvey through the choice of forgetting the acts he had done that had hurt me. Just in the past few weeks we have started conversation again, and I believe a successful friendship would not be possible without forgiveness stepping in and fading those grudges into the foggy recesses of forgotten memories.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

I Am Blessed

I am blessed.

Even when I'm running around wondering why I'm even in the honors program, even when I'm stressed way more than I need to be, even when my room is such a mess I can't rest in it, even when my friends are far away, even when God feels distant, even when my schedule's so busy I can't breathe, I am blessed.

I am blessed with a brain that works more than decently and writing skills that have made way for me already. I am blessed with a loving family--by blood, through friendship, and my church. I am blessed with a man who loves me so much I think I'll burst thinking about it. I am blessed with the time this weekend to work on cleaning my room. I am blessed with a cell phone and the Internet that let me connect to people no matter where they are. I am blessed with a God who is not real based on my feelings but is ALWAYS at my side, even if I can't tell He is. I am blessed with the promise of rest and peace through Jesus and I am determined to take hold of both. 

God is good, I'm going to really enjoy my spring break, and hopefully not stress out about this huge project I have to do in the next extremely busy 4 weeks. 

I'm also blessed with a fantabulous date to Chicago with the hottest guy ever next wednesday. He's never really explored it and I've been a lot so we're going to have a blast. Perhaps a post about it, if you're interested?

Oh, and I'm blessed with this amazing new item, too:


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