I realize I have been giving a rather glum image of how I am and how things are going for me, and a few of you marvelous people have expressed some concern. So I'm going to take a short moment and address this.
I am having a hard time. But I have not lost hope! In fact there is much for me to be joyful about. Normally, in my everyday life, I am not sniffling back tears every moment (If you do hear sniffles around me, trust me, its 99% its allergies. Cuz they are rampant in my life now!), I am not depressed to the point of hurting me or others or laying in bed all day moping.
What most of you see, is my low points, because like I've mentioned before, one way I process them is through writing, and I enjoy sharing those raw moments with people with the hopes I can be an encouragement and I can also provide others the chance to encourage me or use my story to encourage others.
Okay, so where am I right now? To be honest, I am not where I want to be. And that is not easy to fix. I feel like my time is chopped up so much nothing is getting done as good as it should be. But if I take the time to get one thing done as good as it should be, than another falls past the point of being managed OK and into the point of really bad/failure. So I am stressed a lot. But most of the time I have not completely lost perspective--this is preparing me to better handle the "real" world of living on my own, and then marriage, and then my own family, etc. because of all the multi-tasking and prioritizing that I am learning (through trial and error...) now.
So what do you do? Well, you don't have to do anything, but if you can/want to, here are some things:
Please keep praying! Keep trying to get together with me even though I am so busy I will be practically impossible to meet with. To give you an idea: I work Mon, Wed, Fri, 11-4 (sometimes 5). Tue and Thurs I am at valley from 8:30 AM to 5:50 PM--and I only have a half hour lunch break and an hour and a half break, which I usually spend doing a little HW. OK so that leaves me weekends and evenings. Sunday's I have church in the morning and College and Career at night. The rest of the weekends and evenings are filled with HW and chores and recuperating and maintaining my relationship with Peter. So honestly, I'm swamped. But you are still important to me, so email me and message and pray. I don't want to isolate myself, but my former social life is too much for my current lifestyle that I have to. (And many of you know even then it was hard to meet with me!)
- Time management skills and for me to learn to love the satisfaction of doing what I should so that I don't compare myself to others (That's in Galatians near the end I think.) Because I get so tired from everything that when I get home I crash and so the things I need to do at home aren't happening enough.
- Peace. Strength. Joy. I need continually meet with God and so often He gets put on hold. I need His peace and like it says in a Desperation Band song, "Joy unspeakable that won't go away, Just enough strength to get through today." I need to get to that place, daily.
- I need to not worry so much. That's pretty self-explanatory.
So this ended up being way longer than I thought. Thank you for reading/skimming this. It really helps to hear from you, so comment or message me or something if you have time, but even if you don't have time or don't have anything to say, just prayer and the fact that you read this is a blessing.
God bless you all and I pray He will continue to be your strength and provider. You mean so much to me, my friends.