I'm really tired of just writing when I'm not happy. So I'm fairly happy now, and I'm going to make myself write.
What do people want to read? I suppose, in a blog circumstance, they want honesty, something they can relate with, and then something funny every once in a while to spice things up. They want to read a new perspective on life, but to also see how they really aren't that strange either, because if this stranger will blog about it, than it can't be that bad. Right?
Sometimes I wish I could just sit down and write what the millions of people who have access to the blog want to read. Sometimes I think it'd be great to get a hundred comments a day. I also really like the idea that I could potentially influence that many lifes--and maybe even help people get closer to Christ in the process! But then as I keep thinking about it, that popularity could easily become a burden. Oh well. We'll let God do what He wants with this.
I think I should try to start writing about the positive stuff that happens. Maybe not all here online, but just so that I can keep focusing on that. Hey, why don't I share what Jesus told me today?
In my College group we have been learning more about hearing the voice of God and how He is always ready to talk to us, and in fact He IS talking to us all the time, we just need to listen. We have also been learning about different ways God talks to us, and different ways we can give Him opportunities to speak--like opening the door and letting Him do what He wants.
Well, at the end of the meeting we sat down and took a minute to give over something to God. But we did it a little differently than normal. Individually, we closed our eyes and imagined being at the foot of the cross, with Jesus (not all bloody ON the cross, but more "normal" looking). And then we pictured our problem or question, and gave it to Jesus and then watched to see what He would do with it. I thought of the doubts I've been having about a lot of areas in my life, and how I have been slipping into apathy to deal with them/the problems...not very good. I saw them as this ugly and gray blob in my hand. And then I gave it to Jesus...and I know this sounds weird, but He ate them. My first reaction was there is no way that was God speaking, that must have just my my mind playing tricks on me...but I felt like Jesus wanted me to keep watching, so I did... and He spit out jewels and put them on me like a necklace. Then I felt an explanation. You know how God says He wants to take our burdens and give us His light yoke? I felt like this was another way of saying that, but instead of Him carrying my burdens, He consumed them--so they couldn't fall back onto me. And now as I type this, it seems to have even more meaning. What normally comes out of a mouth? Words. And what do we live by? God's Word! And then just the fact that He wants to give me beautiful things in this life--blessing to replace the doubt...and not something I have to hide, but something I want to showcase to the world, like a necklace. It is so crazy but amazing that God can use our minds like that! I mean, yes, He can do anything, but that He cares that much to take our fears and remove them...consume them, make them no more..... *Sigh* It is so good. I just need to stay in this place more often. Stay at His feet, like Mary, and not let my Martha life get in the way of my desire to have Mary's heart....
Do you ever write and then feel like you've hit the point where you should stop, even if you keep thinking of more to say? Well, I just did. Mary's heart. That is what I need to continually end with--seeking to hear Jesus and sit with Him--loving Him and letting Him love me.